Sara Silver Chronicles: Continuing coverage on America’s Race War, told from a thirteen year old girl.
Albany, NY — Three female UAlbany students were beaten here yesterday, in a clear example of blacks simply misunderstanding the actions of blue-blooded Americans. Albany tradition, as you all know, celebrates Black History Month by surprising random Blacks with a beating or lynching. The town ordinance has been in effect since 2012, amid great controversy.
“We were just saying ‘Hi’, that’s how we say ‘Hi’ here in Albany.” Tracey Gillam pleaded to officers, as she was arrested this afternoon. When a local reporter asked her if she meant to hurt the women, and she expressed her desire to represent white citizenry. “My Dad asked me to remember how important it was to remember the holiday this year, even though it’s not a real holiday. So when I kick you while you’re down, It’s our way of saying, ‘We feel your pain, black person!'”
Albany Police Sgt. Tom Frank described the lawful act as being stopped just in time. “It’s a good thing those idiot kids got tired of kicking those poor girls. They were talking about lynching them to welcome Black History Month, but they had forgotten their ‘liberty noose’.” The officer then complained the new law must be repealed.
“You racist!” Gillam protested, with her arms behind her back, “How will you remember all that Dr. King has done for this country? Do you think just watching a Madea movie is enough? Fifty Shades of Black isn’t enough either, hater!”
“No young lady, I think taking a sociology or history class would be plenty for you.” Sgt. Frank retorted as he led her to his vehicle.
Albany suburbs, like New York City suburbs, are known nationwide for celebrating Black History Month year-round, by watching FoxNews 24 hours a day in almost every eating establishment, and pretending there are only whites in their neighborhoods. Lynbrook white trash representative, Giovanni Pandolfo, explained such occurrences keep whites from ‘going Rambo’ on every Black they pass on the street, or report to authorities.
“Long Islanders have a lot in common with upstate white liberals. Those black chicks were lucky,” Pandolfo concluded, inside the Lynbrook Diner on Sunrise Highway, enjoying The O’Reilly Factor on TV. “Albany works too hard for their Blacks, though. Here on this side of Long Island, we don’t even pretend they live around here. I don’t know how those poor repair people and landscapers can stand going to Roosevelt or Baldwin all the time, fixing their junk and mowing their lawns. I guess their money is still green.”
Sara Silver
Race Against Race! 